Pain

The following post was written by Dana Miller in 2006.  Dana is married to Jeff Miller, Music Director at Riverwood Presbyterian.  They have one daughter, Gracen.  This post also appeared in Riverwood's monthly publication, The Salt and Light.  For more about Dana and their family, visit her blog here.

My maternal grandfather owned a butane company. He would go out in all kinds of weather on service calls. When my Mom was a little girl, she would go along with him sometime. They would have to go out in the dark, in fields that were caked with mud with knee deep ruts cut through. The wheels of the old butane truck would get stuck and throw mud. Mom was scared that they would be stuck with no one to help them for days. Papaw would always say, "we're going to make it, got to make it." Mom says they always did make it.

Pain is kind of like those fields caked with mud and knee deep ruts. Whether it be physical, emotional, or mental; pain is dark and can make you feel as though you aren't going to make it. Most of us don't like to talk about or even think about pain. As a society, we've gotten pretty good at masking the symptoms. However much we don't like to think about it, there is one sure fact: we will all have pain at some point in our lives. It is part of living in a fallen world.

Our pastor preached a sermon on Psalm 150 several weeks ago (you can listen to it here ). One of the points that stuck with me was praising God in everything and with everything. I had to think on that a while--especially with regard to pain. I know pain--I know it well. Literally, every step that I take hurts. Sometimes the pain is indescribable. I don't question why--well, not a lot anyway--I know why. For 20 years, I've walked on something "unnatural" so to speak. The prostheses I've had in the past weren't great; technology has finally made some great strides but not before damage was done. I hurt in the morning, during the day, and at night.

Pain brings out lots of emotions in people. Some carry it almost as a martyr's badge of honor--either by pretending that they don't have pain and everything is "fine" or by making sure that everyone knows that they have pain! Some ignore it in the hopes that it will simply go away. Others may try to do enough good to outweigh the bad in the hopes that it will simply disappear. Some get bitter and lash out at everyone. But, praise? Not exactly an emotion we think of in the context of pain. You see, praise has to have an object. We have to praise someone or something. Are we going to praise someone or something for whatever kind of pain we find ourselves in?

The short answer is yes. We are going to praise someone. We may praise ourselves (secretly or otherwise) for being able to bear the pain. We may praise the doctors or medicine who may be able to give temporary relief. We will praise--it is what we are designed to do. Maybe the rub comes when we have to say who we praise. Psalm 150 doesn't leave any doubt--and there is no exception clause.

There are many times that I am tempted to join Frodo in Lord of the Rings and "wish that this had never come to me." But, I always think of the alternative. Cancer could have won in 1985. This path is probably not the one I would have chosen (had I had the option to choose!) but I am incredibly thankful that I didn't choose the path for my life.

In light of all this roaming about in my mind, my question became am I worthy of the path (and pain) that I walk? Philippians 1:27 says
Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ
so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear
of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind,
striving together for the faith of the gospel." Then verse 29:
For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to
believe in Him, but to also suffer for His sake.
Now, I know that Paul was talking to the Philippian church about persecution and such, but if we are to praise God in all things--and rejoice and be thankful--then it seems that we have to consider whether we are worthy of the path He has put us on. I don't mean worthy in the sense of worth but worthy in the sense of conduct. Are my actions to my pain worthy unto Christ? Crying out to Him to relieve the pain--even as Paul did but accepting in His grace if the pain remains or gets worse--and living, walking and trusting in that grace to sustain me.

Am I able to do that? Not a chance. It is then that I am so thankful for Christ's words to Paul: My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)